Popeyes Invites You To Make Your Own Damn Chicken Sandwich

The minds of advertising executives are truly wondrous puzzle boxes of bad ideas sealed in hubris. Just like unsolicited dick pics, the things they confidently believe other people will enjoy miss the mark often and badly. Case in point: Popeyes ran out of their chicken sandwich, and now their new advertising campaign message is to shut upĀ and make it yourself.

As you may have heard, the fast food chain’s new sandwich was such a clucking success that they sold out in a matter of days, despite there still being chickens everywhere, many of them with their breasts firmly attached. Just cut them off and slap them between buns. I don’t see the problem here. If you want one right now, though, Popeyes’ new terribly misguided passive-aggressive marketing campaign suggests you should instead bring your own bread and stuff it with their chicken tenders, because lol, it’s the same thing, you drooling dolts.

It’s very bold for a restaurant to admit that for years, they’ve been serving the exciting “new” menu item everyone’s going crazy over, but you were too dumb to put it on bread. But that’s what Popeyes thinks the messaging is. Think about it for like a second, and you realize the subtle self-own comes in how the person who invented sandwiches hundreds of years ago was by every objective measure dumber than every person alive today, and even they could figure out the mechanics of sandwiches before Popeyes could.